How to Safely Shank A Salesman

The company I work for is ridiculously safety conscious, to the point of full on handicapping productivity. As such, we’re on a never ending quest to find the safest knife possible.

As such, I’ve become a bit of an expert on one of the dullest subjects in the world. Literally hundreds of varieties of safety knives have passed over my desk. Recently, we began the quest for a specific safety knife for a specific task. As such, I requested a one-off free sample of a knife from a company about a month ago so we could test it for our purposes.

I just got off the phone with the salesman from the vendor trying to entice us to buy more safety knives. Weren’t the just the greatest things since sliced bread? Isn’t it a fantastic high-quality German product?

Well, no, it wasn’t and more importantly, it didn’t work for what we needed it for. The blades dulled out quickly. The grip was slick. The retractable function made it a pain in the ass to use.

But this sales guy didn’t care. My feedback was incorrect. The guys using the knives were biased. They had no idea what they were talking about, the knife should’ve been just fine and perfect for our intended use. Of COURSE they hate safety knives, everybody hates safety knives! Didn’t you tell them it was a fantastic high-quality German product?

This is what drives me nuts about sales professionals. I understand their job is to sell you something. I understand they need to maximize your purchasing dollar, yet here I have given a clear, “No, this product does not work for us.”

He didn’t try to suggest another product. He didn’t apologize for sending us a product that was a fit in the first place.┬áHe started blaming the customer.

Shortly after, I was treated to this fantastic sentence from Sales Guy. “Well, you know, I work ten hours a day selling a product that is everybody hates.”

That falls firmly under the category of Things Not My Problem, but thank you very much for trying to play the Guilt Card on me.



Is this wildlife or a safety knife?

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