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Things That Make Me Instantly Suspicious

1) When a salesperson says, “Can I get you something to drink?” No, no you may not. I don’t want to be here any longer than I absolutely have to. When I drink things I have to pee. When I have to pee, I’ve found it’s socially accepted to go use a restroom. What are…

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How to Safely Shank A Salesman

The company I work for is ridiculously safety conscious, to the point of full on handicapping productivity. As such, we’re on a never ending quest to find the safest knife possible. As such, I’ve become a bit of an expert on one of the dullest subjects in the world. Literally hundreds of varieties of safety…