2009_SpecRel_range_LoRes

Beer Is For Sissies

You know who drinks beer? Sissies. Pansies. Wussies. Ne’er-do-wells. I was a late bloomer to the whole imbibing of alcoholic beverages thing. I didn’t take a sip of booze until I was 22, unless you count the time when I was 5 when my grandfather thought it’d be hilarious to give me a sip of…

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I Would Love To Run Your 5K

Recently, a co-worker of mine has been trying to get into better shape and lose a few pounds. I try not to talk too much about my personal life at work, but he knows I run from time to time, so he has begun coming in and reporting his progress to me. “Hey man, I…

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Power Bites

When the Mrs. and I decided to try the whole Paleo thing, one of the first things on our agenda was finding a few quality snacks to replace our old habits of chips and whatever carby junk food happened to be laying around. We do a ton of jerky and nuts these days, but Power…

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Saying “Yes” When You Want To Say “No”

Recently, I was approached by an acquaintance of mine who wanted to know if I was interested in collaborating on a musical project with him. The project was a completely different genre than anything I’d ever worked in before, one I have no more than a passing knowledge of. The acquaintance, who we’ll call Todd…

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Things That Make Me Instantly Suspicious

1) When a salesperson says, “Can I get you something to drink?” No, no you may not. I don’t want to be here any longer than I absolutely have to. When I drink things I have to pee. When I have to pee, I’ve found it’s socially accepted to go use a restroom. What are…

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How to Safely Shank A Salesman

The company I work for is ridiculously safety conscious, to the point of full on handicapping productivity. As such, we’re on a never ending quest to find the safest knife possible. As such, I’ve become a bit of an expert on one of the dullest subjects in the world. Literally hundreds of varieties of safety…

Honda

Zen and the Art of Cursing at Motorcycles, Pt. 1

Here’s the thing: I am not good at working with my hands. It’s taken me a long time to come to grips with this simple truth. I’ve created a graveyard of examples of my lack of skill, talent, and craftsmanship. Shelves that just aren’t quite level. My patented “Drill and see what comes out” maneuver…

Running Feet

I Am A Runner

I am a runner. I give you this information not to inform you of one of the many ways I fill my time, but to tell you who I am, how my brain works, how I function. I am a runner. You see, when I say I’m a runner, I don’t mean it in the…